crusaders soccer club

I really canapos;t wait til Mike comes home.

He may be home for Christmas he finds out at the beginning of november and I keep crossing my fingers that he is. I have so many dates planned for us. Just to feel his hands touch me again will be enough. To fall asleep next to him and have him hold me so tight in his arms. Itapos;s my favorite part of the night whenever we get to spend the night together.

I still canapos;t wrap my head around the fact of how much everything has lead up to now. This time last year I was telling myself " donapos;t like him.." but my heart was saying " you like this boy and you have a feeling about him. Go for it. Be happy" in this case Iapos;m happy a year ago I listened to my heart. Itapos;s crazy how much a difference a year makes.

Being with Mike just feels so right. When he looks at me with those pretty blue eyes... I just feel like itapos;s where iapos;m supposed to be. I just love him more than anything and I feel so lucky to have him with me.

<3
I keep working out... It helps keep my mind off of missing him for awhile.

I practically live at work fro the rest of the month to have all the money i need.
800 by the end of the month for rent and bills
annnnnd
520 for all my tires.

Shit. Iapos;m going to be so poor. Some how iapos;m doing this though. I donapos;t know how.

I just want it to snow already i love that feeling of having hot cocoa and watching the snow with my scarf on .

<3

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clinical symptoms manic depression

I donapos;t know why, but Iapos;ve been thinking about Her today.� Iapos;ve also had a couple of drinks, which hasnapos;t helped, but Iapos;m not sure why she has come back so vividly in my memories.

Most of you do not know Her, in fact Iapos;m pretty sure no-one on this journal would have met her, so Iapos;ll give you a quick history lesson.� I met Her in high school on the Coast, where she for reasons beyond comprehension she developed a crush on me.� There was a small age difference, but we got well and I enjoyed the novelty that someone could find me attractive, so we dated for a while.� It didnapos;t work out, as is standard with most high school romances, but I still liked her a lot.�

Years passed, I moved to Christchurch and lived my life, nothing special.� Then by complete happenstance, I ran into Her.� She was visiting Christchurch as was delighted to see me.� We talked and reconnected.� We went on a date and the chemistry was electric, better than what we had during our high school years.� To be completely honest, I loved Her.�

She returned back to the Coast, but we called each other every night.� We arranged trips to see each other.� She was talking of moving to Christchurch to be with me.� Then she began some odd conversations, seeking my opinions on children and if and when I wanted to be a father.� I answered her honestly, and she seemed encouraged.� We also talked about our relationships since high school.� I was honest once again, explaining to her my tastes but assuring Her that they were not conditional.� I just wanted to be with Her.

Then she told me of one of her experience, which was not a good one.� In fact, it was so bad that the though of being tied down, even by someone who cared for Her as much as I did made Her physically ill.� Then she started calling me less.� And had less time to talk to me when I called.� A short while later, she officially ended it.� I was heart broken.

A short time later my sister in law casually mentioned she had given birth to a baby boy, and I was gutted by the comment. I know the child is not mine, but it still hurts me that I possibly could have been the boyapos;s father.� Iapos;ve seen Her once since then, with Her son, and the experience was too painful to put into words.� I wish Her all the best in life, because I did and still do love Her.

But now, thinking about Her and the pain it causes me, I just wish I could let Her go.

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dauberies

����� Last night we decided to pay a visit to the food cart corner of Hawthorne and 12th. We had grabbed a steaming paper box of poutine a week or so earlier, and although it was surprisingly delicious, the other late night options had caught our eye, too.�
��� We pulled up and parked, and made a circuit of the carts. Mexican, soup, potato-based fried things, and an anarchist cart named YARP which just reminds me of that trail mix recipe, GORP.� I got drawn in by the neatly lettered sign advertising Q�BBQ. They have a rotating menu, and this weekapos;s special was brisket. Saucy, steaming, brisket. I got a smear of dark barbecue sauce on my sweater, but so help me, it was a gorgeous pile of soft meat on a bun, and it was the best thing Iapos;ve eaten in just about forever.
��� Tonight, Dave came by the store as I got off of work, and when we wandered into the Fred Meyer to buy gum, I asked if he was hungry. He wound up admitting that he had gone by and gotten some more brisket, right before he picked me up. I struck a deal, right then and there. I would buy his gum, he would take me back by the food carts for my own brisket. When we both got into the car, I could still smell the sauce lingering in the air. "You wouldnapos;t have gotten away with it for long," I said.
�� As I waited for my brisket, Dave crossed the street to Burgerville. He came back with a bag of sweet potato fries and a milkshake, and by God, if life wasnapos;t truly perfect at that moment in time, there would be no reason to ever assume perfection was possible. Brisket,� thick berry milkshake, and sweet potato fries.

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calls voip

The movers came and took a lot of things away yesterday. Iapos;m supposed to be at the new house helping my parents clean up. I told them im going to aljunied to colelct my pay but iapos;m still at home lazing. =/

Wed i skipped school to snuggle / work on my determinsim essay / swim.

Thurs i finished the bloody essay. Now i have till 1000 tmr to finish reading kant / 8 days to do another essay. AARGAHFSJHH. What happened to the days when i could just sit down, get mildly drunk, and churn out a rambling piece of shit in a few hrs and submit that as an essay?

And yesterday:





























That was where they found my first white hair(S)
calls voip, calls via the internet, calls via internet.

clear plastic storage boxes

Please tell me I didnapos;t stay up til 3:30 playing mother 3. Itapos;s so great... Ow, my eyes. I had no idea the battles were this much fun. The heartbeat system is awesome (they should remake mother 2 with it, lol).

And the music, wow... The music. I couldnapos;t help, but smile fighting Mr. Passion. Beethovenapos;s 9th + Mozartapos;s 20th + scrapped earthbound 64 battle music = win. Iapos;ve been playing for quite a while now, and it seems like the game just started, and I need to level because things are getting really hard lol.

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ferritin iron

yo zup homedawgs

the best thing happened last night *wink*
okay you know what? i just made the sentence sounds sick. REALLY�SICK. So let me try to rephrase this.
err. I got the best conversation last night during the wee hours, when everyone at home were asleep.
now weapos;re good :)
i actually dont know what to like post about. Im just speechless after last night.
errr yeah. Ahhh i still cannot stop thinking about it. Itapos;s like stuck in my head all the time.

wait before i continue, i thought alex and jack from all time low were brothers at first because they look quite alike. Haha.
and now i have to go to the friggin doctor to get an MC because my school is so darn strict about not attending school. Well, who could blame them. My school is known for havoc. Damn you people. But i dont wanna go to school this week coz one, post exam activities is the same as me going to sleep, two, drama elective auditions which im not yet prepared COZ�I�DONT�HAVE�A�PARTNER ): three, (wait, whatapos;s three?) OH, err. Be yourself day. This yearapos;s theme, halloween. Seriously, what was my school thinking? but i still have to attend no matter what. If not it would affect my report book so yeah.

my face is turning red already. This morning i chatted with IZZAT ^-^ and yeah after what happened last night, we became really quiet. Haha. And i had to go coz my mum wanna go to her colleagueapos;s house and yeah my brother wanted to use. I got angry at him coz izzat didnt finish his sentence ): and i even begged my mum not to bring me but she insisted. ): damn. So sorry izzy. Hehehe izzy. Okay nvm. I felt bad coz. Sigh. It was just ahh okay. If only i had my own computer. Then nobody can invade or use.
oh yeah i actually "cared to spill" who i liked to my crush :pp you guys already have the hint, so you now know who ^-^

i felt really. Okay i dont know whatapos;s that word. Damnn. And apparently, he too,...
shoot, i gtg.
okay for some reasons, my sister is damn annoying. She calls me a bitch unreasonably. I mean like wth? gosh that ass has no patience. -.-


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